"The Strange Obituary of Mr. Renald Sevier"
(03/2007, 1015 characters)

     Renald Sevier (196?-2007) passed away on February 22 during his fifth gender reassignment surgery. Sevier, a self-defined "criminal sculptor" was best known for his monumental and controversial sculpture "Death’s Table". The work’s concealed poison darts have been the cause of 4 deaths, most notably Sevier’s own agent in 1987. Sevier was also co-owner of the London restaurant "6 Stone 4", a bistro in which the courses were served in syringes. The restaurant, which opened and closed in the spring of 1981, was apparently celebrated among his then fashion model peers, but was otherwise not well received.

     Sevier is survived by three former wives and two former husbands. He was pre-deceased by his second husband, the classical pianist Paul Kovacs, who died of fatal hilarity in 1982 after peering into Sevier’s now infamous "Villainous Rotoscope".

     A celebration of Renald's extraordinary life will be held at 1 pm. on March 3, at the Taff Gallery. Viewers are advised to remain a safe distance from the casket.