"wife" [1996.0219.0347]

i am lost
    because i just saw the future
    in her eyes.

a driving play
    that goes nowhere.

a future too close.

when my flags fly over her
    every discovered land.
and my ships lie under her
    every deceptive sea.
when the evergreens mock us
    with their beauty.
and snow settles
    on the garden we grew.

    i will find
        a judas mask
        on her empty face.
    i will find
        that she's worth
        her weight in silence.

this driving play
    rehearsed and reversed.

what emotion can she express
    that i did not see countless times?
what thought can she supress
    that i cannot read in her eyes?
what truths can she hide
    that i cannot sniff out from the lies?
what flavors she exudes
    that i've not tasted on her thighs?

i am lost
    between a beginning that
        i fear may never be
    and an ending
        that i never want to see.